Wait, what readers? I don’t have any readers anymore now, do I?
I have not posted since July.
July, I tell you!
To justify this lapse in blogging, I will employ the pitiful platitude of “life happened.”
Below is a series of events that recently transpired in my otherwise dull existence. Each event served as a distraction from posting on the blog. Either that or I was just being l-a-z-y. Three cheers for honesty! But, if you would like to know more about the former excuse, then read on:
A SERIES OF RECENT EVENTS (IN MY OTHERWISE DULL EXISTENCE) THAT DISTRACTED ME FROM POSTING ON THE BLOG:
Reason 1: In June, I was bit by the spontaneity bug (and also by the “I-need-to-escape-Brooklyn-now-or-else-I-will-die-a-metaphorical-death” bug), packed my suitcase, and rented an apartment in Washington Heights (a.k.a Jewish Singlesville). The transition wasn’t hard; I simply moved from one littered, humid, urban community to another littered, humid, urban community.
Unfortunately (or perhaps fortunately), I did not experience the much hyped social dynamic of WH’s Jewish Clique, as many of its members left New York for the summer. Instead, I was simply left to my own devices. I explored the energized Dominican area (in its full blaring glory of Latin music), took pacifying walks in Fort Tryon Park (one of New York’s hidden gems) and spend long summer Sundays in WH’s sole, cramped Starbucks (with its array of hipsters and increased foreboding of neighborhood gentrification).
Reason 2: During this past summer, I had also worked at a non-profit in Downtown Manhattan. I was hired to assist with the organization’s Annual Golf and Tennis Championship. I was assigned the humdrum, but still stressful, administrative tasks. My employer flipped between being charmingly sweet and absolutely terrifying; I never, ever knew what to expect. Of course, in the true spirit of one’s #firstjoboutofcollege, I spent a few days heaving back tears in the ladies room and drying my mascara stained cheeks. After that, I rolled back my shoulders and stepped out of the ladies room with renewed poise. I forced myself to tackle whatever other sharp reprimands Ms. Bossy-Boss stocked up for me, occasionally failing and making a second trip to the ladies room for the purpose of catching all those black-mascara-tears.
After these never-ending days of work, I walked into my apartment and greeted my devoted lovers: the previous night’s leftover pasta and Netflix. And just so you know, after-work pasta and Netflix will always trump blogging for Wear Your Invisible Crown. Always.
Toward the end of July, the Golf and Tennis Championship finally rolled around. Our organization and its slew of multimillionaires guests were very fortunate; the weather was pristine and perfect for golf. I met a few of the organization’s wealthy donors and scanned the golf course to see whether they had any grandsons. It turns out they didn’t—or at least not any that showed up. Boo!
Reason 3: In mid-July, I applied to a graduate program in English Literature education. While journalism and writing are my first loves, I was tired of interning for low-profile companies that didn't pay me a blessed penny. When applying for actual jobs, I was tired of being blithely ignored by HR representatives. Above all, I was tired of dispassionate unemployment.
I craved stability, and thus opted to teach as a profession. Currently, I am being trained to teach grades 7-12 in NYC Public Schools. I am wary of parts of this job as well; the Department of Education is forever punishing teachers and holding them accountable for stagnant test scores. And because of this (and many other reasons), 50% of public school teachers quit within the first two years. Ah well. All I can do is pray that I’m able to discipline hormone-raging 16 year olds and deepen their appreciation for Shakespeare, Bronte, and Fitzgerald. Hahahahahahaha. Reality Check: I’ll actually be chased out of the class with frayed copies of The Great Gatsby and an impressive collection of paper airplanes. Now, that sounds more like it.
Anyways, being that this was my first semester of graduate school, I had little time for much else. Not to show off or anything (but really to show off) I’ll say that I wrote exactly 134 pages of academic writing these past few months. Hence, another reason for not posting on the blog.
Final Reason: I recently started to loathe the blogging format (Google’s Blogger). I noticed that all the photos I posted in previous entries have disappeared and that the layout somehow mysteriously gets out of sync. I cannot deal with Blogger’s shenanigans. Some nights I lay in bed dreaming of developing a print magazine that’s geared just for 20-something Jewish singles—a heimeshe and kosher hybrid of Marie Claire and GQ. Until then, I resort to posting on this annoying blogging format—or not. Maybe I will desert you all again. And if I do, then shame on me. You have written charming and witty posts on your blogs, in spite of busy professional and personal lives. I need to learn a lesson from you now, don’t I?